I've been trying to slow it down this year.
Attempting to BALANCE my life out a bit.
Savoring the delicious little moments that occur when I'm rushing from one thing to the next. Actually having the sweet little conversations with my kids that don't happen when I'm yelling and threatening and cranky and irritable and, and, and...
Well I just finished a book that I have been reading slowly, steadily, and with lots of thoughtful intention.
I had my staff photographer take this picture:
And this one:
And also this one that has my whole face in it. Almost.
I wanted to pose a question. It is really a statement from the book that I, in moments of clarity and bitter-ness-less, completely agree with:
"I have grown much more through my trials than I have through my successes"
- James Bryan Smith
Do you agree?
Do you look back and recognize the hardships/tragedies/loneliness/etc... were also times of personal growth?
Please do not take this as a diminishment of your struggles. Rather, a 20/20 hindsight that may reveal a silver lining? A strength you never knew you had? A closeness to God out of pure necessity? A receiving of help or love that you might not have allowed before?
In particular, I have grown to believe that my marriage difficulties can be beneficial to myself and others. I have grown closer, more dependent upon, and have developed a greater understanding of who God is through my worst, WORST, times. Additionally, being the emotionally transparent individual I am, I *think* that my discussion of these worst times with other women has helped in some way. Helped them believe they are not alone, helped me to build trust and friendships, and helped my own marriage grow to be a little more 'normal" (whatever the heck that means).
As I read through my notes I have taken from this book, I really want to share some. Let me know what you think! Do you disagree? Do they cause you to pause and think? Are you angry? Encouraged? Doubtful? Faith-induced? Thinking I'm cray-zay? Let me know!
- "Jesus reveals a God who does not demand but who gives; who does not oppress but who raises up; who does not wound but heals; who does not condemn but forgives." (p.84, Brennan Manning)
- "This is what God wants most of all. He wants to serve us, to see us feast and rejoice in his goodness. One day we will serve others, but only as a response to God's love, not motivated by guilt." (p.107, Smith)
- "A marvelous and mighty paradox: the death they thought to inflict on Him as dishonor and disgrace has become the glorious monument of death's defeat. Though they tried to kill Him in shame, the cross stands for all eternity as a symbol of the glory of God." (p.138, Smith)
- "You were meant to house the fullness of God" (p.162, John of Kronstadt)
That amazing list is why I slowly absorbed this book. Yet my slowness made space to not be completely overwhelmed by the depth of content; and why I am forever changed.
Lots of love,
Stacey
