Here is my belly at 12 weeks. I am telling you, I feel different this week. I don't think I look that different, but I feel my belly hanging over my pants. My you-know-whats are also spilling over. The changes in my body are not bringing out cozy mothering feelings. Instead, I am worried over the life take-over that will be this child! I am so worried about losing my identity as an individual. I realize that these fears are completely selfish. I realize that I should probably keep my mouth shut. I realize that my poor child will think I don't love it. BUT... I am scared!
It is kind of like the identity change I went through after getting married. I changed my name. MY OWN NAME! I wasn't even ME anymore! Very weird. I mean I made the choice to get married. I made the choice to change my name. I just didn't realize the effect I would experience.
Now I am feeling similar. I won't even be Stacey WILSON now. I will be "Timmy's Mom". Or some-such thing.
Don't worry, I will be back to excited next week. I just have this selfish moment that I need to write down in order to move through it. I don't really do "bottled up".
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